BT MONKEYS STINK OF POO. !!

I AM HAVING SO MUCH GRIEF FROM MY BT BROADBAND ,CONSTANT DISCONNECTS SINCE JANUARY, PHONED ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS TO THE INDIAN CALL CENTRE AND GONE THROUGH THE SCRIPT WITH THE SLUMDOGS ,THEY WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT ITS A LINE FAULT.
AFTER MUCH COMPLAINING THEY EVENTUALLY AGREED TO SEND AN ENGINEER, ON THE DAY SPECIFIED HE FAILED TO SHOW UP ,PHONED SLUMDOG AGAIN, THIS TIME CALLED "JOHN" TYPICAL SLUMDOG NAME, WHO INFORMED ME THAT THE COMPUTER HAD CRASHED AT THE EXACT TIME MY APPOINTMENT WAS BEING BOOKED....YEAH RIGHT.!!!
THE ENGINEER CAME THE FOLLOWING DAY, I SAY ENGINEER LOOSELY , HE JUST GOT A BRAND NEW UNBOXED  SEALED HOMEHUB FROM HIS VAN, PLUGGED IT IN ,THEN PRONOUNCED IT FAULTY AND WENT TO HIS VAN FOR ANOTHER ONE, THIS ONE WORKED ,SO HE THEREFORE PRONOUNCED THE LINE FINE AND TRIED TO SELL ME A NEW HOMEHUB.
HE FAILED TO TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THAT THE FAULT IS INTERMITTANT AND HIS NEW HOMEHUB MAY WORK FOR A WHILE BUT THE FAULT WILL COME BACK AND HE ALSO DIDNT CARE THAT THE THREE MODEM/ROUTERS I HAVE TRIED CANNOT ALL BE FAULTY AND INDEED WORK PERFECTLY ON MY NEIGHBOURS BT LINE BUT NOT MINE.
PLUGGING IN A HOMEHUB FOR TWO MINUTES IS NOT MY IDEA OF BEING AN ENGINEER, NEEDLESS TO SAY THE FAULT CAME BACK THIS TIME WITH A BRAND NEW MODEM/ROUTER.
BACK ONTO THE SLUMDOGS, "MARY" THE SLUMDOG THIS TIME , SHE TOLD ME THAT THEY HAVE ESCALATED MY PROBLEM AND THAT A BROADBAND ENGINEER WOULD VISIT ME, "WHAT THE FUCK", SO WHO WAS THE GUY WHO CAME, SOME HOMEHUB SALESMAN OR WHAT.!
I HATE BT, I HATE BT`S SLUMDOG SERVICE DEPARTMENT , I HATE THE FACT THAY HAVE A MONOPOLY ON THE LINE UNLESS YOU GO CABLE.
I FUCKING HATE BT.!!!

MY BALLS HAVE DROPPED

My balls have dropped , nothing strange about that you may say at my age and indeed in normal circumstances you would be correct.
But you would be wrong, so wrong , my balls dropped whilst i was on the toilet and smashed the porcelain into myriad pieces , when i stood up they were swinging like two demolition balls and smashed the bathroom tiles and cracked the basin.
On closer inspection my GP says they appear to be made from Industrial strength Stainless Steel with a Tungsten Carbide inner core, he has no idea how this could have happened.
One explanation could be that late last week i was abducted by Aliens who subjected me to some strange experiments , during these tests maybe just maybe the Aliens turned my balls into steel, after all stranger things have happened.