Pa Gutteridge whilst mushrooming in Chandlers Copse with his Vietnamese pot bellied pig Monty looking for the legendary 23 feet truffle, long rumoured to dwell neath the moist undergrowth came across a working model Enigma 3 circa 1943.
After he'd dragged it to the pub by a rope tied to the back of Rusty Bess his old tractor, we all gathered around it and after pronouncing it very interesting we all went for chips although Lackey junior had a Jamaican Pattie.
Barleymow Cranmer reckons we could use it for phone hacking, i cant quite see how, unless we threaten to bash Hugh Grant over the head with it until he gives us his ansafone pin.
The Enigma machine lived up to its name for quite a few days as we were buggerred with what to do with it, eventually we decided to re-bury it and lo and behold on so doing found the legendary 23 feet truffle which we sold to crater chinned jock Tv chef Gordon "Fuck off" Ramsey, he paid us £125.000 which we have donated to the Lower Sprockett Crochet and Knitting Circle.
They in turn have gone en-masse to The Maldives ostensibly to study Crochet Patterns of The Indian Ocean , lets hope they bring back something nice.
