All these TV chefs are doing my brain in , why can`t they leave me alone , i cannot go anywhere without a TV chef harrassing me , Jamie this, Gordon that.
For the love of God please please leave me alone , i have gravy not jus , i dont eat with my eyes , i eat with my teeth , i dont want two potatoes , i want at least six.
Nigella poncing round her pretend kitchen sucking asparagus like its a cock , if i want to view that i`ll log onto fat jewish birds.com.
Wednesday, 10 November 2010
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
The Village Green
It has brought to the attention of the village moot , that Fanbro Carlyle has been digging up the green ostensibly looking for moles , has it not occured to him that he is causing more damage than the actual moles themselves.!
Also it has been noted that Mrs Patroon has been cutting her heroin with unknown filler, thus the local schoolchildren have been getting less value for money and quite a lot of them have been seen around the memorial fountain looking quite normal and even well behaved , Mrs Patroon has promised that her next shipment will be of a much higher grade and quality, hopefully the children will once again be surly and lethargic and village life will be restored.
Also it has been noted that Mrs Patroon has been cutting her heroin with unknown filler, thus the local schoolchildren have been getting less value for money and quite a lot of them have been seen around the memorial fountain looking quite normal and even well behaved , Mrs Patroon has promised that her next shipment will be of a much higher grade and quality, hopefully the children will once again be surly and lethargic and village life will be restored.
Monday, 1 November 2010
CARTER FISHBURN AND THE JUICEBUCKET QUIMBASHERS
Big Boy Magoo has been raving about a new band he recently saw at The Dog and Tampon open mic night , Carter Fishburn and the Juicebucket Quimbashers, he say`s they are a cross between the Glenn Miller Orchestra and Niggaz With Attitude.
I can`t see it myself , i went to school with Carter Fishburn and he used to wet himself in class screaming "ive come , i`ve come wee ".
Mrs Bromilow the english teacher once hit him across the face with a claw hammer and he barely noticed it , but Big Boy Magoo has never had great musical taste , i saw him at the bus stop once tapping his toes to the rhythm of his own flatulence.
Still its nice to see Magoo taking an interest in something vaguely cultural after all the trouble at the Harvest Festival when he ate the dog food that old Mr Daedelus had brought in, then tried to replace it with his own faeces.
That was the angriest i`ve seen the Vicar since his condom split in that choir boy last Michaelmas.
I can`t see it myself , i went to school with Carter Fishburn and he used to wet himself in class screaming "ive come , i`ve come wee ".
Mrs Bromilow the english teacher once hit him across the face with a claw hammer and he barely noticed it , but Big Boy Magoo has never had great musical taste , i saw him at the bus stop once tapping his toes to the rhythm of his own flatulence.
Still its nice to see Magoo taking an interest in something vaguely cultural after all the trouble at the Harvest Festival when he ate the dog food that old Mr Daedelus had brought in, then tried to replace it with his own faeces.
That was the angriest i`ve seen the Vicar since his condom split in that choir boy last Michaelmas.
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