IT`S TIME TO FACE THE MUSIC.!

"All birds are gagging for my hot salty wang," so says Ferman O`Grady the three feet tall egg shaped Mayor of Skidmark pictured left leaving a private party at Christopher Biggins pied a`terre in Chiswick.
He is of course hoping for re-election this coming May at the local council elections, along with his long term Deputy Mayor Tommy the Dog Faced Boy.
Long rumoured to be a friend of Negus, Tommy has recently been seen around town squiring the lusty starlet Hogmany O`Quimbash second wife of The Duke of Cocksmoker heir to the vast tracts of land north of Skegness until recently in Viking hands.
Paparazzi are keen to get a photo of the two of them together and indeed one national newspaper is rumoured to have offered upwards of £2.44 + vat for a decent snap. The Duke of Cocksmoker has laughed off reports of infidelity by his slattern of a wife saying " ha ha ha ha " to such reports.
In the meantime the Coastguard are on high alert following reports of a long narrow thing, God help us !!