Apparently they have hired 225,000,000 spies worldwide, who will hide in your home and follow you around and examine your faeces for tapeworm and suchlike and go through your bins.
Barleymow Cranmer said that he`d seen a Google Spy hiding in the bushes near the War Memorial but had scared him off by shouting "Yahoo".
Rosie in the Cafe said two men came in last Tuesday and ordered a Skinny Latte and a Basil and Mozzarella Panini, Rosie told them to Fuck Off with their Gay London Ways, she is now convinced they must have been Google Spies.
Old Pa Clutterbuck claimed to have had a phone call from someone in India asking him if he wanted to change his electricity provider, considering Pa Clutterbucks energy provider is old Gertie`s dried cowpats and logs from the thickett he is now convinced that Billy Patel from Mumbai is also a Google Spy but obviously not a good one unless he gave a false name, "Billy indeed" cried Pa, " Bastard Slumdog"
The whole village is now paranoid, weve never liked strangers at the best of times hence the Barrow near Hilltop which far from being ancient only dates back to 1965 and some say contains the bodies of Vietcong insurgents flown over by the Yanks at the Base near Barford St John to cover up the effects of Agent Orange.
So the last thing we need here is wholesale paranoia over bloody Google Spies hiding in the toilet, I for one do not believe it, but just in case, i am currently shitting in small freezer bags and hiding it in the woods.
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