VILLAGE GARDENING COMPETITION.

Lady Garden

What a winter!, no time for us to enjoy and celebrate the birth of our lord Jesus Christ, not when there`s the drainage in the lower field to take care of.
Still most of us did manage to grab a bit of relaxation over the festive season ,although i was entertaining the troops in Afghanistan, could i get a smile out of that bloody Taliban, Could i fuck,!
The whole village has been gearing up for the bi-annual gardening competition, Mrs Patroon has won it for the last 22 years with her imaginative topiary in the Vaginal bush or Lady Garden department but this year there could be stiff competition from Rosie from the corner shop whose bush apparently resembles a Motown afro circa 1971.
The herbal medicine category is going to be a hard fought one this year with both Barleymow Cranmer and Pa Clutterbuck growing some fine weed with almost minimal use of hydroponics.
As usual there will be the normal array of sideshows and stalls and a possible live performance from a man who once saw Roger Whittaker in a cheesemongers in Holland Park.
I will be displaying my collection of German measles and Kylie Minogue will be singing from the Book of Revelations.
Tickets available from the TeaShoppe, non Jews welcome.