LAGER IS FOR QUEER CHAPS

The other night four of the boys from the neighbouring village came bold as brass into the Dog and Tampon, obviously all heads turned, apparently their pub "The Cowards Retreat" was having a refurb.
"Bloody refurb" cried Big Boy Magoo, the only refurb our pub sees is when they change the bloody sawdust.
Anyways this motley bunch of inbreds ordered lager, old Madge found four bottles out the back covered in dust and cobwebs, although for all these cleft palette throwbacks knew about beer she might just as well have pissed in the bottles. Old Pa Gutteridge got round to telling us about an article he`d read in The New Scientist that he used as toilet paper in his back outhouse, stating that an independant analysis of various lagers had been conducted at the University of Greene King.
It seems that the three eminent Professors Fuller,Smith and Turner have discovered a link between lager consumption and homosexuality.
Seventy men of varying ages and social background were fed differing quantities of this pisslike liquid and sent out into the high street and shopping centres of Britains main towns and apparently came back with purchases such as mascara ,handbags and celebrity gossip magazines.
After a day or two the same men were given the same quantity of ale and this time they came back with briar pipes, chunky knit cable sweaters and classic car magazines.
Proof positive say these learned men, that lager is for queer chaps.